Your lawyer can help you to select a mediator or, if in court, a judge can appoint one. Mediators can be lawyers, mental health professionals, clergy, and other trained professionals. You and your spouse should both trust the mediator since this individual is going to help you to communicate through your differences. 

A person who has been trained and recognized as a family law mediator according to established procedures by the Supreme Court of Tennessee is identified as a "Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator."